How to stop giving up.

January always begins with a burst of optimism.

“THIS is the year,” you joyously proclaim, “that I am finally going to fix my raggedy life and get it together!”

“I am going to see my therapist regularly and take my mental health seriously!”

“I am going to watch less TV and read more books!”

“I am going to delete Facebook! No more doom-scrolling in bed at 1:30 am for me! Not today, Satan!”

“And I am definitely going to start making a lot more money!”

“World, let it be known—this is HAPPENING.”

But then by mid-February…

It’s not happening.

Most New Year’s Resolutions completely fizzle out by mid-February. Most people (around 80% to 92%, depending on which study you look at) give up on their January goals and never achieve them.

Those numbers are tragic. We can do better.
If you have a tendency to set goals—and then give up—and you have a long list of unfinished projects and unrealized hopes strewn in your past, that changes today.

Here are some ways to triple your commitment level:

– Surround yourself with high-achieving people who are doing the exact things you want to be doing. 

If your support network includes people who exercise regularly, people who engage in activism work, and people who are determined to make more money, guess what? You’re way more likely to start doing those things, too.

– Stop trying to be a lone wolf. Join a program that provides the structure and accountability you need. 

I have never considered myself a “joiner,” and I’m usually allergic to groups and crowds. In the past, I’ve resisted joining anything—a program, a class, a club—figuring I was “above it all” and it would be pointless. This attitude kept me lonely, broke, and stuck.

I’ve learned that joining is a very smart move. Join something that provides accountability—weekly meetings, regular check ins, reports to gauge how you’re progressing, and people who genuinely care and want you to succeed. This will get you moving towards the outcome you want 10x faster than if you go it alone. 

– Connect your goal to something bigger than you—a reason that stirs your heart, makes you cry, and compels you to get your ass in motion. 

If I tell myself, “I’m going to make more money so that I can upgrade to a nicer car,” I am like…Meh. That’s a perfectly valid reason, but it’s just not compelling enough to make me wanna change out of these very comfy sweats. 

But, on the other hand, if I tell myself, “I’m going to make more money so that I can create generational wealth that gets passed down to my 4 kids, something that very few Black families have ever been able to do” okay, THAT gets me motivated. When I connect my goal to my kids, my ancestors, my community, my legacy, suddenly, my motivation is burning strong and no obstacle is too great. 

– Consider that maybe you’ve been aiming too small. Go bigger. 

If you’re struggling to achieve a goal, many experts say, “maybe you should shrink your goal and go for something smaller. Pick a more doable goal. Think: baby steps.” 

I say, do the opposite. Go bigger, not smaller. 

Maybe you set a very modest goal for yourself (“negotiate for a 5% raise” “make an extra $10K per year”), but, in fact, it’s so small that it’s not even interesting. You don’t feel motivated to achieve it because why bother? Even if you do achieve it, it won’t change your life all that much. The reward doesn’t justify the effort.

That’s why I urge my clients to aim higher. Instead of aiming for six figures a year, aim for seven. Instead of trying to find a house that is just a smidgen better than the one you’re currently in, find your absolute dream home and then figure out what it would take to get the keys in your hand. 

When you’re working towards a BIG goal that will significantly upgrade your life, you’ll be a lot more motivated to put in the work.

Just because you’ve struggled to stay committed in the past doesn’t mean that’s your future. 

You can become a woman who does exactly what she says she’s going to do. Not just one time. Every time. 

“Don't settle for average. Bring your best to the moment. Then, whether it fails or succeeds, at least you know you gave all you had. We need to live the best that's in us.” —Angela Bassett

Go live the best that’s in you.


PS. If one of your top goals for 2021 is “earn more money,” then here’s your action plan:

– First, read the opening chapter of my book, We Should All Be Millionaires. It’s my FREE gift to you. Get motivated and fired up.

– Next, pre-order the book here

– Once you pre-order, you get two special gifts: Plan Your Year Like a Millionaire (video series) and The Daily 7 (7 habits you need to be doing daily if you are serious about making more money). Both gifts—all yours—to say thank you for pre-ordering the book. Two fabulous resources to help you stay committed to your financial goals long-term. Go get the book and get that coin!

PPS. If you need to surround yourself with incredible, ambitious, brilliant go-getters, The Club is for you. The doors are currently closed, but if this sounds like a place you need to be, you miiiiiiiight want to get your name on the waitlist here. We have something special planned very soon. *wink*

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