Who have you been hanging with lately?
Go ahead and create a quick mental list of the 5-10 people you spend most of your time with. Now, if that list includes a bunch of people who are not into personal growth, not into entrepreneurship and have no interest in leveling up themselves in general, then you have got to make a change. Here’s why:
The people you spend the most time with will determine your level of success.
The more positive and ambitious the people you spend your time with, the more positive and ambitious you will become. Likewise, if you spend your time with incredibly successful people, you will become incredibly successful. It really does work that way.
Now you may be thinking: I determine my own success, no one else! And you are right, you do determine your own success. One of the best ways to create your own luck and give yourself the best shot possible at achieving massive success is by surrounding yourself with a tribe of ambitious people who are into not only making more money and creating an impactful business but also growing themselves (because one can’t happen without the other).
If you think, oh I have to spend time with my family, with my childhood friends, with the members of my team who drive me nuts, with my crazy neighbors who are always inviting me over, you are wrong.
You are not obligated to surround yourself with folks who aren’t ‘bout it. Even if they are your family members.
Now, I am not suggesting that you cut off your sister, cousin, and best friend that you grew up with completely, but if these folks are the toxic dream killer types (you know the ones that are always complaining, always negative when you talk about your dreams, who don’t believe in themselves or others), then you need to spend WAY less time with them. Like, WAY WAY less.
This is something that I have had to do myself. I have both friends and family members that I have had to distance myself from over the years in order to achieve my dreams. I was crushed one day when I realized that one friend in particular who I always had a great time with and who made me laugh like a hyena for hours whenever we hung out, was really a negative person who suffered from the worst self-esteem I had ever seen. I started to notice her taking jabs at me whenever she got the chance. She always seemed to want to kick me ever-so-subtly whenever I was down. She was secretly jealous of my willingness to go after my dreams which I didn’t notice until much later.
When I finally came to the conclusion that I couldn’t spend time with her anymore, it made me really sad. I really liked her. No, I loved her. She was someone I considered a dear friend and I knew I would miss her. But I did what I had to do and distanced myself from her. And when I did there was an influx of positive energy in my life.
When I removed her negativity from my life, I made the space for positive energy to fill that space up and it did. Not even a month later, I made a whole bunch of new friends who are so incredibly positive. These new friends of mine are all super smart and ambitious entrepreneurs and at the same time so humble. We bond over having young children, the challenges and joys of marriage, and, most of all, an innate desire to grow. Their belief in me and what I can achieve pushes me to take risks, challenge myself and live boldly.
If you need to make a change to the squad that you’re currently rolling with, follow these 4 steps to uplevel your peeps so you can uplevel your business and your life:
- Make a list of your closest peeps. These are the folks with whom you spend the most time.
- Cut off negative people. If you’ve got a bunch of dream killers in your circle, get a new circle. As I said, if they are truly loved ones than you may just want to limit how much time you spend with them rather than cut them off completely. Either way, you’ve got to make space for positive people.
- Create your list of the specific people you want to befriend. Create a list of specific people that you follow online or otherwise know of and would like to form a genuine friendship with. I encourage you to add at least 20 names to your Friend List.
- Take action to become friends with those people. If there are entrepreneurs or other inspiring people that you would like to become friends with, make an effort to meet them. Attend the conferences they are attending, go to an event they are hosting, put the effort in to get to know them. Of course, you don’t want to pretend to be their friend so that you could use them for your own personal goals. Rather, make an effort to truly connect with them and develop a genuine friendship.
- Enjoy having a brand new circle of awesome and inspiring mofos. If you put the effort in to curate the kinds of people you allow into your life, you will feel constantly blessed at the amazing group of people surrounding you. When you have positive people in your life who are focused on growth, you will be a positive person who grows. That’s the way it works. A rising tide lifts all boats.
The #1 challenge you will likely experience once you do this, is saying no to invites from the people you want to distance yourself from. Now you can come up with excuses of why you can’t hang out with them (and some of those excuses are likely true). Another option, and what I like to refer to as the Badass Boss option, is to tell them the truth. Let them know that you love them and have valued your friendship with them but you find them to be focused on negative things rather than positive and you really need positive energy in your life right now. They may not understand but it will provide an opportunity for growth for both you and your friend.
I encourage you to review your list of closest peeps, remove the Dream Killers, create a list of Dream Catchers that you’d like to connect with and then go connect with them. Then you will be fully supported by a squad of encouraging, inspiring people. Who could fail with that kind of squad having their back?
Get more information on my new squad here.