Happy Mother’s Day!
If you’ve got a mama, a grandmama, an auntie, or another nurturer in your life, I hope you make the time today to show them some love.
If you are a mama, I hope you make the time today for self-care. Go treat yourself!
And if you’re a working mama (and let me clarify – ALL mothers are working mothers)… well, first off lemme say, I feel you. When you’re done reading this email, please go take a nap.
Can we talk about what we’re going through for a sec?
Right now, 9.8 million working mothers in the U.S. are suffering from burnout.
“Burnout” isn’t even just a catchphrase anymore – it’s an actual syndrome, recognized by the World Health Organization as “chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed.”
Working moms have been dealing with burnout forever, but this pandemic has us really going through it.
We’re not just juggling work at work and home at home anymore.
We’re trying to manage our kids’ remote schooling.
We're rearranging our workdays because the kids are home more, and it’s harder to find childcare in a pandemic.
We’re trying to answer emails, please clients, and get investors as we’re in the kitchen making lunch for the entire family while simultaneously trying to mediate passionate arguments between a 6 year old and an 8 year old.
We are the ones shouldering the increased responsibilities of caring for our families throughout the pandemic.
A recent study showed that working mothers are 28% more likely to experience burnout than fathers. We already know that this is due to the unequal demands placed on working mothers. The study also showed that cases of burnout are higher among Black, Asian and Latina mothers, compared to their White peers.
And, as a result, women are leaving the workforce in droves. Literally. There were 2.2 million less women in the labor force in October 2020 than in October 2019.
So, my fellow working mamas. What can we do to reclaim our time, our energy, and our money?
You know me. I got some ideas:
1) Set Million Dollar Boundaries – and actually enforce them.
A Million Dollar Boundary is a declaration to yourself and others (friends, family, boss, and so on) where you clearly state what you will do, and won’t do, in a given situation.
Boundaries aren’t about saying “no” to other people – boundaries are about saying “yes” to yourself. Let me paint the picture for you:
Are you sleeping poorly because your phone pings at 2:00 am with emails from work? Let your colleagues know you do not check your work email after 5:00 pm. Then actually, seriously, do not check your work email after 5:00 pm. Now your notifications are switched off, and you can finally get a good night’s rest.
Are your kids interrupting you 23 times a day while you’re trying to work – and you stop what you’re doing and entertain their requests, every single time? Sit them down for a frank discussion, and let them know you need to focus during work hours and they should not interrupt you unless somebody is bleeding. If you have an office door, lock it. Now you finish work early because you’re actually focused, and you can give your kids undivided attention afterwards.
Where are your broke-ass boundaries stealing peace, power, and joy from your life? How can you set and enforce boundaries that maintain your energy and sanity?
If you need help with this, go buy my book, We Should All Be Millionaires, and flip to Chapter 4: Million Dollar Boundaries. It’s filled with evidence of why women need to set better boundaries, scripts for the tough conversations you need to have, and guidance on how to change your life with Million Dollar Boundaries.
2) Take care of yourself.
Seriously. I’m not just throwing around a buzzword here. You need to care for yourself as you do for your children. Deeply, deliberately, fully.
Maybe you need daily exercise, weekly massages, or quiet time to curl up with a good book (We Should All Be Millionaires, is a real page-turner!).
Maybe you need a therapist, a nutritionist, or a personal trainer. Or maybe you just need to spend more time with your besties, the ones who hold you down and remind you that you are a goddess.
Whatever you need to do to take care of you, do it. This is how you recharge, and come back to life after burnout.
Chapter 6 of my book, Million Dollar Vision, explains why self-care is so important: “If you feel broke and defeated every day, then you will likely stay broke and defeated.” You need to treat yourself with activities that make you feel like a million dollars – and you don’t need to break the bank to do this. Sitting outside in the sun, lighting a candle, going for a run, and getting a haircut are all affordable things you can do to feel well. And feeling well is imperative, “because when you feel like a million bucks, you are far more likely to earn a million bucks.”
3) Tap into and expand your support network.
You have to start asking for the help you need in order to balance your work and home life.
This means talking to your boss and your colleagues about changes you might need to make to your schedule, your workload, and your role.
This means hiring help to take care of your kids (following the right health and safety protocols).
This also means asking your partner or another family member to fairly split the household responsibilities with you.
Regardless of what your childcare support system looks like, you need it. You cannot keep stretching yourself so thin. Ask for help, and reclaim your time.
In Chapter 9 of my book, Million Dollar Team, I break down how buying back your time by hiring help will actually make you a happier person. In addition to childcare, maybe you need a personal assistant, a cleaning crew, or even a family chef. Like I wrote in my book, “Committing to hiring help and letting go of the obligation to do everything yourself will liberate you, make you happier, and, incidentally, increase your income.
4) Make more money.
Money can’t solve all our problems, but it can solve a lot of them.
Money gives us options – to hire more domestic support, to move to a bigger space with an office door you can close, to start seeing a life coach, to leave your toxic workplace environment and finally be your own boss.
My whole book is about this, but there are some juicy strategic details in Chapter 8, Million Dollar Pricing. Spoiler alert: you need to double your prices. Yes, I said double. Do not let limiting beliefs (AKA Broke-Ass Thoughts) keep you from knowing your worth and earning way more money, right now.
I believe every woman needs to know what it feels like to wield economic power. That’s how we effect change — in our lives, in our children's lives, and in the world.
I know all the stats are troubling, upsetting, even enraging. And I know the thought of changing your life to avoid or recover from burnout can be daunting. But it’s a comfort to know that even Beyoncé has struggled with work-life balance. “Many of us grew up seeing our parents act as if they were superheroes,” she shared with Elle magazine. “Most women have been conditioned to ignore symptoms and just ‘tough it out’ and focus on taking care of everyone else before themselves. I am no longer one of those people.”
So [First Name], let’s be like Bey. If you want to set million dollar boundaries, take better care of yourself, build a support network, and make more money, but you’re not sure where to start, I gotchu. I literally wrote the book on it.
If you haven’t read it yet, get a copy of We Should All Be Millionaires: A Woman’s Guide To Earning More, Building Wealth, and Gaining Economic Power.
Book purchases through Monday will help me get on bestseller lists, so if you’ve been thinking about it, please help a Sister out and get it today or tomorrow!
Want a side of entertainment, inspiration, and powerful conversations about women and money with your book? Come to any of my virtual book tour events, where I’ll be gettin’ real with amazing speakers like Glo Atanmo, Farnoosh Torabi, Sallie Krawcheck, and Nicole Walters. Your ticket supports an independently Black owned bookstore, and it comes with a hardcover copy of my book, signed by me!
And if you’ve already read it and loved it, drop me a review on Amazon. I’d love to hear what you think!
To all you moms out there, working or not, I see you.
I appreciate you.
And I hope you have a beautiful, sweet, restful Sunday.
Happy Us Day. ❤️
PS. I wanted to take a moment to say THANK YOU for your support with my book launch this week. I’ve been blown away and moved to tears almost daily for the way y’all have SHOWN UP. The first week of sales is essential for any first-time author, so that means we have until Monday night to send a message. It would mean the world to me if you would share, buy a virtual book tour ticket, or pick up an extra copy today. Together, we’re changing the publishing world.
PPS. I’ve said this before, but it’s important, so I’m gonna say it again: We often use terms like “men” and “women” when we share financial data. This is because, unfortunately, there isn’t much data available on people who don’t fall into those gender categories…yet. As new, more inclusive data gets released, we look forward to bringing it to you. Parents and caregivers who identify as non-binary, non-gendered, pangender, genderfluid, third-gender, two-spirit, or whatever identity is true for you, please know that you are welcome and beloved in this community.