I just got back from New York where I attended the funeral of a loved one. My heart was cracked wide open. A few days after the funeral, I had a late night cry/laugh/love fest with my girlfriends over a bottle of wine. This list was inspired by that conversation between a few modern, thirty-something women that want to squeeze every last drop out of their lives.
1. Life insurance. Yes, this is a practical list because we are practical women. Life is short and one day your loved ones will have to plan your funeral and their lives without you. Make it so much easier for them by getting some life insurance ASAP. I pay $50 per month for a million dollar term life insurance policy. Put this on your to do list and get ‘er done.
2. Real friends. The kind you can cry with. The kind with whom you can share your greatest source of shame and your greatest source of pride. The kind you can call when your mother dies, when your lover breaks your heart and when you get the client!, the job!, the man!, the house! No facade, no appearances to keep up, just honest to goodness friends to the end.
3. A savings account with ‘shit hit the fan’ money. Because someday shit will hit the fan and grown ass women need to be prepared. I recommend at least one month’s living expenses (if you’re an entrepreneur, then I would include one month’s business expenses as well). Six months is better.
4. A black dress (or equivalent). Every grown ass woman needs at least one outfit that makes her feel completely and utterly fabulous and sexy. For some of us it will be a black dress, for others it may be something else (preferably in black because black looks good on everyone!). If you don’t have this outfit hanging in your closet, then you know what you need to do this week.
5. Investments. You need one source of income that is not tied to your labor. Whether it’s capitalizing on your intellectual property, stocks, rental property or a business you own but don’t work in, as a grown ass woman you’re smart enough to know that building wealth for the next generation is important and you can’t do that with just your salary. The time to begin investing is now.
6. Good sex. Yes, honey. Good sex is good for your health. Did you know that it boosts your immune system, reduces aches and pains, lowers your blood pressure and reduces your risk of having a heart attack? It’s also good for business because it boosts creativity, improves analytical thinking and relieves stress. It’s also fun. Whether alone or with a partner, get you some!
7. Courage. You’re not living if you never do things that scare you. The things that scare you the most are the things that matter to you most. Courageous women have full lives filled with the experiences, people and things they want.
8. A favorite form of fitness. Every grown ass woman needs to move her body. Consistently working out has improved my life immensely and it has nothing to do with weight loss. It has to do with celebrating what my body can do, feeling like the strong and powerful badass that I am and releasing endorphins cause they make me happy. Walking, yoga, bike riding, swimming, dancing, lifting weights– find a favorite and do it all the time.
9. A crave list. A few years ago I created a crave list. I put everything I really wanted at the time on that list, regardless of how plausible I thought it was to actually accomplish it. I now have everything on that list except one — the half marathon. So I’m gonna sign up for a half marathon today. What would you put on your crave list? I encourage you to create one today and then use #7 on this list to make those things happen.
10. To love herself. Most women struggle with this. We love parts of ourselves but not our whole selves. How would life be different for you if you were to love every inch of your body (including the stretch marks and the belly fat), every part of your personality (including your loud mouth or your shyness), and every other aspect of who you are regardless of how palatable it is to others or what society says about it? Not sure how to do this? Start by getting better at accepting compliments. When someone tells you you’re beautiful, brilliant, funny, creative, sexy or capable, try believing them.
What would you add to this list?
PS: If you want to spend some time with some fellow grown ass women (and a few grown ass men) learning how to grow your business and make real money, join my mailing list. This week I’ll be sharing details about how you can come to North Carolina to hang out with me and 100 other amazing women entrepreneurs this Fall. (I wanted to send the deets last week but the death of a loved one prevented me from getting it out to you). Stay tuned!