I’ve got a friend. She’s got an ex-boyfriend. And, very long story short, this ex-boyfriend owes her money. $11,000, to be exact.
In order to get this money that is rightfully hers, she needs to:
- Write a letter to her ex reminding him how much is owed, how to pay, the timeline for payment, and the consequences for non-compliance.
- Get a lawyer to review the letter before sending it off.
- And, most importantly, actually send the damn letter.
She has done #1.
She has not done #2 and #3 yet. She is stalling.
What’s the hold up?
Oh, she has plenty of reasons. Basically, all of her reasons boil down to this:
“I don’t want to be mean. It’s a pandemic. It’s a tough time for many people. He’s probably struggling financially [note: my friend is making this assumption about her ex’s financial situation based on zero evidence]. I’m worried if I send this letter to my ex, then I might be causing additional stress and hardship for him. I don’t want to do that.”
My friend is a very compassionate person. One could even argue, too compassionate. Compassion is a wonderful virtue. But there are moments in life when you need to grow a backbone and stand up for yourself to demand what is fair, just, and right.
Just for fun, I asked my friend, “How would you handle this situation if you were a ‘bad girl’? Like, if you were a rebellious, nasty, give-no-fucks bad girl instead of a polite good girl? Then what would you do?”
She replied immediately, without hesitation:
“I would send him the damn letter. Today.”
. . .
Society trains us to be very good girls. Docile. Meek. Passive. Not too ambitious. Not too demanding. Excessively generous—giving, giving, giving until we’re in the E.R. collapsing in a heap of exhaustion due to adrenal fatigue.
Good girls are obedient, depleted, and broke.
Bad girls make millions.
Let’s be clear, being a bad girl doesn’t mean you have to be a cruel asshole. It just means that you dare to do the one thing that society has taught you never to do:
Be assertive, be ambitious, and be willing to prioritize your own needs (financial needs, emotional needs, self-care needs) instead of prioritizing other people’s comfort and convenience.
If you were a bad girl, how would you behave?
Would you double your prices?
Would you finally have “that long overdue talk” with your spouse?
Would you ask your boss for a bonus or profit-share in the company?
Would you take your ex to court and insist that he pay what's owed to you?
Being a bad girl gets you more of everything you want—more power, peace, joy, and definitely more money, too.
It’s time for you to be a bad bitch. The baddest. The BBIT. Because that’s how you will make bank.
PS. If becoming a bad girl terrifies you or feels totally alien, unfamiliar, and uncomfortable, I’ve got a solution for you: start hanging out with bad girls.
Research confirms that your emotional and financial wellbeing are directly influenced by your social circle. Get some baddie friends. Join a bad girl Club. Let their bad girl magic rub off on you. Without even realizing it, soon, you’ll be feeling different and making very different decisions. Trust and believe.